Soaks

Uni Associates Women's Hockey Club & Uni Associates Men's Hockey Club

some intercepted communications...

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 NEW SIGNING

Paul the Psychic Octopus was lined up to be a guest pundit for the week but is inundated with work [inundated at work too , as it goes]

In his place he has sent his partner , the somewhat racy B grade actress Paula the Sidekick Octopus.

Her recent work includes:

1. Posing for the photos for her new book "Cephalopod Karma Sutra"
,which now runs to 27 volumes.

2. A small but controversial part in the Bond film "Octopussy", which led to formal complaints from both the RSPCA and the Royal College of Gynaecologists

Her psychic predictions for this weekend, [sponsored by Black,Inc.]
1. it will be a game of 2 halves
2. hockey will be the winner
3. we should take it one game at a time

As for the result, she has 4 feet in both camps , and having a squid each way [see Cephalopod Karma Sutra for evidence of this]

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 Paul the Octopus seems to completing a slightly spooky supernatural circle of scariness (is this alliteration, onamatopeia or something).

The reason why you ask? Well in the last two games I've observed Al Murray change when under the power of The One Stick. When I've asked to look at it (The Stick of course) he's hissed at me and said that The Precious was his.

I sneaked a look at the the ancient Elvish language on The Stick which read loosely translated: "One Stick to rule them all, One Stick to find them, One Stick to bring them all and in the darkness bind them". This Stick was forged in the fires of Mount Atlas by the Dark Lord Jinder and its awesome power has started to consume Al.

I tried to tell him that whenever he used The One Stick that Stickwraiths would know the ground he was playing on but he snarled at me and said that I was trying to take The One Stick for myself.

I advised him take 8 other team mates (I'm away that weekend) on a quest to cast the One Stick into the fires of Mount Atlas from whence it came. An ancient octopus in a black pool guards the stone door to the entrance to the Mines of McGillvria. The password to open the stone door is "Paul" (Elvish for "password").

I have seen someone else also looking enviously at The One Stick. You know of whom I speak Wortho.

Looking forward to being bound in the darkness with everyone on Saturday (showers first).

Lee (Elvish for "needs to get out more")